Hello, we’re campaigning for Frank N. Stein, who is running for governor. Let us tell you why Frank should be your next governor:
He’s big. One of the biggest men we know; certainly one of the tallest.
He’s got big ideas. Ideas for bigger schools, bigger jails, bigger shopping centers, and bigger SUVs. Being a movie star has given him vast experience in decisively acting for his constituents. You can be assured he will get the biggest jobs done!
He’s got big charisma. Just think of how he single-handedly roused a whole Transylvanian town into action! You’ve never seen such enthusiasm! Think what he could achieve as a political leader!
He wears a big suit. And you know how effective big suits are in the State House, as well as in the rest of the world. David Byrne wouldn’t have gotten far in his career without wearing a big suit.
He’s got big hands (and arms and legs and…) which makes him very effective at conflict resolution. This is especially helpful in dealing with special interest groups, partisan politics and rogue politicians.
He’s got big feet—and knows how to dance. He has promised to treat us to “Puttin’ on the Ritz” during his election night party. And Frank always keeps his word--in a big way.
So, on Tuesday, we urge you to join us in voting for Frank N. Stein for governor.
(It would be in your best interest to do so...)
Paid for by Frank N. Stein for Governor, Frau Blooker, Secretary.
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